Cheery Customer Interactions

Hokay, so...
I work for one of the world's largest electronic chain stores and I often find myself "stuck" with stupid customers. This may sound rude, because perhaps I am strategically placed in the store to assist customers in every way, but I assure you that after you read this, you might sympathize. I'm not strategically placed anyways, I'm just....lucky? I will post one now, but keep in mind that all of these examples that I will post are 100% true and come from various times throughout my employment here. I have color coated the interaction for your convenience (unless you're colorblind).


Customer: Hi, I was wondering if you could help me.

Me: Sure, what can I help you with?

Customer: So you can help me?

Me: Yes... (already getting a bad feeling about this customer)

Customer: Do you know a lot?

Me: That depends upon the subject matter and who you're comparing me to...

Customer: .....

Me: So what's your question?

Customer: Oh yeah. Well. I want to know....Well you see, I want to get this ipod.
(Customer holds up a 60 gb ipod)

Me: Okay. (still not sure what this crazy lady needs from me)

Customer: I'm worried though. It's not terribly heavy now, but I want to feel how heavy this ipod gets when it's full.

Me: Excuse me?

Customer: (speaking louder and slower as if I am hard of hearing) I want to know how heavy this is when it is full. Because if it gets too heavy I don't want it. If you don't know, can you get someone else?

Me: (smiling internally at this idiot) Miss, when your ipod gets full of songs and movies and such, it doesn't get heavier. When it's full, it just means you can't put anything else on it. It does not change in weight whatsoever.

Customer: (looking at me suspiciously as if I have just made up this answer and it cannot possibly be true) No, I mean the weight. The weight.

Me: I know you meant the weight. And the weight of an ipod is not affected by the amount of things that you put on it.

Customer: (still eyeing me like I just escaped from prison) Yeah. Okay. Hmmm. Alright.

And with that, she walked out of my life...and earshot so I laughed my ass off. Let it be known that as soon as she walked away from me, she walked straight over to another employee and asked the same question. I completely regret not indulging her with a magical story about the ridiculous weight of a full 60 GB ipod.

Work. And. Toil.

Every morning is a beautiful morning to be alive.

Every morning is also a morning that I have to get up and go to work.

Don't get me wrong. I know that with the way the economy is, it is a blessed thing that I am even employed. But I can't help but feeling that I am wasting away my life.

I'm not helping anyone through my job. No one's life will be happier or easier because of me. I am not bringing clarity into clouded lives. My best friend said it best...."We are retail slaves."

Just because I am working retail does NOT mean that I am an idiot! The things people say to you whilst working retail, are things I wouldn't say to my worst enemy. When I get a chance I will post some joyous and entertaining customer interactions. Next time you're shopping in a store, and you find yourself getting upset at an employee, please remember that we're people too.

A very productive day.

Today, was in fact, very productive. Here is a list of things I did:

1. Woke up early
2. Got stuck in traffic for almost an hour
3. Got Starbucks which made me late to work (it was worth it, yes.).
4. Intervened when a customer was screaming at my associate.
5. Laughed at the screaming customer for screaming.
6. Lied to still screaming customer that I was the manager when she asked.
7. Met Dustin's dog and girlfriend, which means that Dustin is no longer a rapscallion.
8. Ate lunch at Panera Bread. Same thing: A You Pick 2: Tomato soup/Chicken Caesar Sandwich with no tomatoes/baguette (I know, yum!). While i ate, I read the 3rd Harry Potter book. I am re-reading/close reading all of them for my Harry Potter literature class. Yes I know. It is too awesome to handle.
9. Drove home tired from a hard day of labor.
10. Bought a flash drive that looks like a chocolate bar before I came home. I am just too lazy to change this to 9, and 9 to 10. Below is what the glorious thing looks like. No one, however, understands why I an so enthused about this said flash drive. To tell you the truth, I don't know, but seriously...I could pee my pants I am so excited...


11. Ate a fortune cookie that says: Everything will soon come your way....about time I think. :)
12. Getting ready to watch the Ducks game/make crafts.
13. Still tired.

This is my day thu far. I will keep thee abreast shalt any one thing change.