Thursday, April 30, 2009

uh oh.

So I wouldn't classify how I am feeling as sick, per se, but yesterday I did sleep for a total of over 12 hours. Mind you, this was 12 neccessary hours that I needed to work on essay and such homework that the percrastinator in me insists on putting off.
However I was feeling so darned tired I laid down. And once I did this, I realized that my head was pounding too hard to actually sleep. However, once I laid down for an hour I forced myself into a sleep coma, that did not end until this morning.
I had better not be getting sick or I'm going to kick the ass of every customer that comes in the door to Best Buy, whether or not they are guilty of getting me possibly sick.
In other news I did make an exceptional salad for dinner last night. It has only about 360-400 calories (depending on how much extras you put in) and it is definitely a very manly salad. Ryan loved it and he usually hates salads.
Here is the recipe (it makes 1, so double if you're making it a date meal):
  1. 1 green bel pepper (chopped up to whatever size you want)
  2. 2 1/2 cups spinach or salad greens
  3. some chicken pieces (I got one of those premade ones at Ralphs because I'm lazy)
  4. Cilantro (I picked off however much I wanted)
  5. Roma tomato (1 chopped up)
  6. chiles ( give it some spice)
  7. Avocado slices (1/2 per salad)
  8. 1/4 cup of drained black beans (uncooked)
  9. For dressing, per salad pour 1 teaspoon olive oil, and 1 tablespoon lime juice

It was seriously amazing and filling! So you should try it. And I am pretty sure that it tastes even better if it is eaten out of super cute bowls, preferably pink, sparkly, or polka dotted. These said dining dishes also increase manliness and chesthair.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Another crazy customer. Lucky me.

So this happened only 2 days ago, so it's rather fresh in my mind...

I happened to be in the area of customer service and I hear screaming. Not the "painful ouch!" type of screaming, but the "intense angry" type of scream.

I, not soon enough, realize that it is coming from customer service and one of my fellow co-workers Chrissy is getting screamed at...while all the managers in the store walk by and pretend like they can't hear.

I listen for just a moment, because I figure it necessary that if I am going to intervene and subject myself to mental torture instead of my co-worker, that I should at least know what the ruckus is about.

Please realize, that nothing in an electronics store is worth screaming over.

So I listen and I finally realize what this irate lady is screaming over. It is so ridiculous that I must hold off on revealing this information.

I walked over mid scream and I say, "Hey!" but she doesn't hear over the sound of her own ugly voice. So I yell, "HEY!"

By the way, I've worked at a summer camp for kids the past 6 years, and I have a very loud booming voice when I need to. So the lady stops mid yell and looks at me...Seriously, if looks could kill, I would be 6 feet under as I type.

"You need to lower your voice. You're making a scene in here. So lower your voice," I politely and quietly said to...let's call her Bitch.

Bitch looks at me and starts screaming unimportant nothings such as, "Excuse me! Well, excuuuussseee me! Look at you. Who are YOU! Who are YOU! I ain't talkin' to you! Etc. Etc."

Once again, I calmly tell her, "Excuse me. You're being rude and making a scene over something that's definitely not worth making a scene over. She is only trying to help you and you're being extremely rude, so lower your voice and I wont escort you out."

She looks at me like no one has ever said this to her in her life. She commences asking who I am and why I feel the need to intervene, and I end up lying to her and telling her that I am the Store Manager.

Perhaps I should take this moment and overshadow the fact that I straight up lied to the customer, to tell you what she is yelling about.

She signed up for magazine subscriptions from our store to get a $20 gift card. She already received her gift cards and now wanted to cancel the magazines. The customer normally cancels this themselves by either calling a 1800 number or can do it online in about 2 seconds at such websites as

We CAN cancel it for customers, however the means we have to do so are nothing beyond what the customer has. We ,too, have the same 1800 number or do the same websites. However if you log in, you will see that one needs a person's name, address, phone number, and email address to cancel, or their order number off of one of their magazines.

But I cannot stress enough that this is a courtesy. We are not SUPPOSED to cancel these for customers. We just do so out of the kindness of our hearts. We are actually encouraged to not cancel them for people because it loses us money on the backend since the customer is canceling.

And so, this lady wanted Chrissy to cancel her subscriptions for her. Chrissy agreed to do so and told the lady...I mean Bitch...that she would need Bitch's name, address, phone number and email. After much hesitation Bitch handed over the information but refused to give over the email. Chrissy informed the customer that she needed her email to even log in and cancel. Upon hearing this information, the customer went berserk.

The customer was screaming over the fact that she had over 15 email addresses and could not possibly remember ALL of them and DEFINITELY would NOT write them ALL down for Chrissy. Chrissy simply requested that the customer tell her a few of her most used email addresses and this set the customer off.

An email address.

I took over while Chrissy stood back behind me, because let's face it, no one likes to be yelled at, even over ridiculous things by a Bitch.

I couldn't help but smile over this ridiculous customer. To my suprise, she turned out not completely stupid, because she caught on that I was laughing at her.

"I see you laughing and smirking. I see it," said Bitch.

To this I replied, "I'm not smirking miss. I have to smile at all my customers. It's part of my excellent customer service."

She did not like this answer, as apparently this means she does not like smiles or excellent customer service and started screaming again.

"How would you like me to look at you M'am, if I cannot smile?" I merely asked.

"Concern! Regret!" is all I could understand out of her obligerant screams of a Neanderthal (No offense to Neanderthals).

I, obviously mocking her, made my face into the best look I could of "concern and regret." It probably looked as if I was taking a dump in the forest, but whatever.

I was so proud of myself for being a complete asshole. At that moment I didn't care. I ended up helping her out, but not before I gave her a taste of her own medicine.

I also gave her corporates number to complain and wished her adieu.

So, to make a really, really, long story short...the moral of the story is, don't make yourself 15 email addresses. If you do, you'll turn into a crazy Bitch and yell at people for no reason.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Cheery Customer Interactions

Hokay, so...
I work for one of the world's largest electronic chain stores and I often find myself "stuck" with stupid customers. This may sound rude, because perhaps I am strategically placed in the store to assist customers in every way, but I assure you that after you read this, you might sympathize. I'm not strategically placed anyways, I'm just....lucky? I will post one now, but keep in mind that all of these examples that I will post are 100% true and come from various times throughout my employment here. I have color coated the interaction for your convenience (unless you're colorblind).

Customer: Hi, I was wondering if you could help me.

Me: Sure, what can I help you with?

Customer: So you can help me?

Me: Yes... (already getting a bad feeling about this customer)

Customer: Do you know a lot?

Me: That depends upon the subject matter and who you're comparing me to...

Customer: .....

Me: So what's your question?

Customer: Oh yeah. Well. I want to know....Well you see, I want to get this ipod.
(Customer holds up a 60 gb ipod)

Me: Okay. (still not sure what this crazy lady needs from me)

Customer: I'm worried though. It's not terribly heavy now, but I want to feel how heavy this ipod gets when it's full.

Me: Excuse me?

Customer: (speaking louder and slower as if I am hard of hearing) I want to know how heavy this is when it is full. Because if it gets too heavy I don't want it. If you don't know, can you get someone else?

Me: (smiling internally at this idiot) Miss, when your ipod gets full of songs and movies and such, it doesn't get heavier. When it's full, it just means you can't put anything else on it. It does not change in weight whatsoever.

Customer: (looking at me suspiciously as if I have just made up this answer and it cannot possibly be true) No, I mean the weight. The weight.

Me: I know you meant the weight. And the weight of an ipod is not affected by the amount of things that you put on it.

Customer: (still eyeing me like I just escaped from prison) Yeah. Okay. Hmmm. Alright.

And with that, she walked out of my life...and earshot so I laughed my ass off. Let it be known that as soon as she walked away from me, she walked straight over to another employee and asked the same question. I completely regret not indulging her with a magical story about the ridiculous weight of a full 60 GB ipod.

Work. And. Toil.

Every morning is a beautiful morning to be alive.

Every morning is also a morning that I have to get up and go to work.

Don't get me wrong. I know that with the way the economy is, it is a blessed thing that I am even employed. But I can't help but feeling that I am wasting away my life.

I'm not helping anyone through my job. No one's life will be happier or easier because of me. I am not bringing clarity into clouded lives. My best friend said it best...."We are retail slaves."

Just because I am working retail does NOT mean that I am an idiot! The things people say to you whilst working retail, are things I wouldn't say to my worst enemy. When I get a chance I will post some joyous and entertaining customer interactions. Next time you're shopping in a store, and you find yourself getting upset at an employee, please remember that we're people too.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

A very productive day.

Today, was in fact, very productive. Here is a list of things I did:

1. Woke up early
2. Got stuck in traffic for almost an hour
3. Got Starbucks which made me late to work (it was worth it, yes.).
4. Intervened when a customer was screaming at my associate.
5. Laughed at the screaming customer for screaming.
6. Lied to still screaming customer that I was the manager when she asked.
7. Met Dustin's dog and girlfriend, which means that Dustin is no longer a rapscallion.
8. Ate lunch at Panera Bread. Same thing: A You Pick 2: Tomato soup/Chicken Caesar Sandwich with no tomatoes/baguette (I know, yum!). While i ate, I read the 3rd Harry Potter book. I am re-reading/close reading all of them for my Harry Potter literature class. Yes I know. It is too awesome to handle.
9. Drove home tired from a hard day of labor.
10. Bought a flash drive that looks like a chocolate bar before I came home. I am just too lazy to change this to 9, and 9 to 10. Below is what the glorious thing looks like. No one, however, understands why I an so enthused about this said flash drive. To tell you the truth, I don't know, but seriously...I could pee my pants I am so excited...

11. Ate a fortune cookie that says: Everything will soon come your way....about time I think. :)
12. Getting ready to watch the Ducks game/make crafts.
13. Still tired.

This is my day thu far. I will keep thee abreast shalt any one thing change.

I am a nerd.

And I am excited to share my nerdy-ness with the world.

I AM NERD! HEAR ME ROAR!...since my world of warcraft character is a lion.