Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Another crazy customer. Lucky me.

So this happened only 2 days ago, so it's rather fresh in my mind...

I happened to be in the area of customer service and I hear screaming. Not the "painful ouch!" type of screaming, but the "intense angry" type of scream.

I, not soon enough, realize that it is coming from customer service and one of my fellow co-workers Chrissy is getting screamed at...while all the managers in the store walk by and pretend like they can't hear.

I listen for just a moment, because I figure it necessary that if I am going to intervene and subject myself to mental torture instead of my co-worker, that I should at least know what the ruckus is about.

Please realize, that nothing in an electronics store is worth screaming over.

So I listen and I finally realize what this irate lady is screaming over. It is so ridiculous that I must hold off on revealing this information.

I walked over mid scream and I say, "Hey!" but she doesn't hear over the sound of her own ugly voice. So I yell, "HEY!"

By the way, I've worked at a summer camp for kids the past 6 years, and I have a very loud booming voice when I need to. So the lady stops mid yell and looks at me...Seriously, if looks could kill, I would be 6 feet under as I type.

"You need to lower your voice. You're making a scene in here. So lower your voice," I politely and quietly said to...let's call her Bitch.

Bitch looks at me and starts screaming unimportant nothings such as, "Excuse me! Well, excuuuussseee me! Look at you. Who are YOU! Who are YOU! I ain't talkin' to you! Etc. Etc."

Once again, I calmly tell her, "Excuse me. You're being rude and making a scene over something that's definitely not worth making a scene over. She is only trying to help you and you're being extremely rude, so lower your voice and I wont escort you out."

She looks at me like no one has ever said this to her in her life. She commences asking who I am and why I feel the need to intervene, and I end up lying to her and telling her that I am the Store Manager.

Perhaps I should take this moment and overshadow the fact that I straight up lied to the customer, to tell you what she is yelling about.

She signed up for magazine subscriptions from our store to get a $20 gift card. She already received her gift cards and now wanted to cancel the magazines. The customer normally cancels this themselves by either calling a 1800 number or can do it online in about 2 seconds at such websites as

We CAN cancel it for customers, however the means we have to do so are nothing beyond what the customer has. We ,too, have the same 1800 number or do the same websites. However if you log in, you will see that one needs a person's name, address, phone number, and email address to cancel, or their order number off of one of their magazines.

But I cannot stress enough that this is a courtesy. We are not SUPPOSED to cancel these for customers. We just do so out of the kindness of our hearts. We are actually encouraged to not cancel them for people because it loses us money on the backend since the customer is canceling.

And so, this lady wanted Chrissy to cancel her subscriptions for her. Chrissy agreed to do so and told the lady...I mean Bitch...that she would need Bitch's name, address, phone number and email. After much hesitation Bitch handed over the information but refused to give over the email. Chrissy informed the customer that she needed her email to even log in and cancel. Upon hearing this information, the customer went berserk.

The customer was screaming over the fact that she had over 15 email addresses and could not possibly remember ALL of them and DEFINITELY would NOT write them ALL down for Chrissy. Chrissy simply requested that the customer tell her a few of her most used email addresses and this set the customer off.

An email address.

I took over while Chrissy stood back behind me, because let's face it, no one likes to be yelled at, even over ridiculous things by a Bitch.

I couldn't help but smile over this ridiculous customer. To my suprise, she turned out not completely stupid, because she caught on that I was laughing at her.

"I see you laughing and smirking. I see it," said Bitch.

To this I replied, "I'm not smirking miss. I have to smile at all my customers. It's part of my excellent customer service."

She did not like this answer, as apparently this means she does not like smiles or excellent customer service and started screaming again.

"How would you like me to look at you M'am, if I cannot smile?" I merely asked.

"Concern! Regret!" is all I could understand out of her obligerant screams of a Neanderthal (No offense to Neanderthals).

I, obviously mocking her, made my face into the best look I could of "concern and regret." It probably looked as if I was taking a dump in the forest, but whatever.

I was so proud of myself for being a complete asshole. At that moment I didn't care. I ended up helping her out, but not before I gave her a taste of her own medicine.

I also gave her corporates number to complain and wished her adieu.

So, to make a really, really, long story short...the moral of the story is, don't make yourself 15 email addresses. If you do, you'll turn into a crazy Bitch and yell at people for no reason.

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