Sunday, April 26, 2009

Cheery Customer Interactions

Hokay, so...
I work for one of the world's largest electronic chain stores and I often find myself "stuck" with stupid customers. This may sound rude, because perhaps I am strategically placed in the store to assist customers in every way, but I assure you that after you read this, you might sympathize. I'm not strategically placed anyways, I'm just....lucky? I will post one now, but keep in mind that all of these examples that I will post are 100% true and come from various times throughout my employment here. I have color coated the interaction for your convenience (unless you're colorblind).

Customer: Hi, I was wondering if you could help me.

Me: Sure, what can I help you with?

Customer: So you can help me?

Me: Yes... (already getting a bad feeling about this customer)

Customer: Do you know a lot?

Me: That depends upon the subject matter and who you're comparing me to...

Customer: .....

Me: So what's your question?

Customer: Oh yeah. Well. I want to know....Well you see, I want to get this ipod.
(Customer holds up a 60 gb ipod)

Me: Okay. (still not sure what this crazy lady needs from me)

Customer: I'm worried though. It's not terribly heavy now, but I want to feel how heavy this ipod gets when it's full.

Me: Excuse me?

Customer: (speaking louder and slower as if I am hard of hearing) I want to know how heavy this is when it is full. Because if it gets too heavy I don't want it. If you don't know, can you get someone else?

Me: (smiling internally at this idiot) Miss, when your ipod gets full of songs and movies and such, it doesn't get heavier. When it's full, it just means you can't put anything else on it. It does not change in weight whatsoever.

Customer: (looking at me suspiciously as if I have just made up this answer and it cannot possibly be true) No, I mean the weight. The weight.

Me: I know you meant the weight. And the weight of an ipod is not affected by the amount of things that you put on it.

Customer: (still eyeing me like I just escaped from prison) Yeah. Okay. Hmmm. Alright.

And with that, she walked out of my life...and earshot so I laughed my ass off. Let it be known that as soon as she walked away from me, she walked straight over to another employee and asked the same question. I completely regret not indulging her with a magical story about the ridiculous weight of a full 60 GB ipod.

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